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26 Hard Things in 2026

January 3, 2026

Here we go again! I felt well accomplished with my 25 hard things in 2025 so why interrupt a good thing?

26 Hard Things in 2026

  1. Read 50 books
  2. Find my mat 26 days in a row 
  3. Ride in the RAGBRAI
  4. Go for 26 swims 
  5. Have 26 incredible meals 
  6. Set an intention for each month 
  7. Eat 2-6 different fruits & vegetables each week 
  8. Begin (& COMPLETE) 2-6 arts and crafts projects 
  9. Observe 1 silent hour every day 
  10. Go further north than I ever have before (on this continent, anyway) 
  11. Go camping 5 times 
  12. Choose the brave path every time 
  13. Host 2-6 parties 
  14. Go on a retreat 
  15. Notice 26 times I'm delighted by/with a stranger
  16. Complete the first draft of the roadmap 
  17. No background shows when I'm working 
  18. Visit a Buddhist temple 
  19. Notice 26 times I didn't let my figs rot 
  20. Use my paddle board 2-6 times 
  21. Go dancing at least once 
  22. Make friends with falling 
  23. Redetermine my relationship with my practice
  24. Write & send 26 letters, notes, cards, or postcards
  25. Investigate the pleasure of delayed gratification and restraint 
  26. Make pasta at home at least once 

Fall 2025 Reads

December 29, 2025

The wheels fell off my bus sometime around September and I'm not even totally sure why! The last few weeks of this year have been an utter whirlwind (to put it nicely) and it's kind of a miracle I managed to get any reading done at all. 'Tis also why I'm shoehorning the last three months of books into this 1 lengthy post! 

The book I wish I read 10 years ago

Not that my 17 year old self would've been able to truly appreciate Cheryl Strayed's sage advice...Cheryl Strayed's Wild is one of my favorite memoirs EVER and I was surprised that I'd never come across TBT before this year. 

Grief is a tumultuous journey. Multiple times this year I thought I was finally done schlepping the familiar weight of its mantle only to feel it settle back on my shoulders. In September, I found myself lugging it around again. I resumed my perpetual search for a balm. (Translation: I googled "books for heartbreak reddit.") Thank you, Reddit user inga_the_leopard for this baller recommendation.

This book is a collection of (some of) Cheryl Strayed's advice columns that she answered under the name "Dear Sugar." One letter, in particular, felt like Cheryl reached through the pages, grabbed me by the collar, and shook me to pay attention. In that picture, you can see a glimpse of blue writing on my hand—it's part of her advice in that letter! I have recommended this book to at least two people on their own journeys with grief since then and I seriously think everyone should read it.

Island claustrophobia x1000


I've never done an escape room (unless you count getting stuck in 2 locked bathrooms as a child, #trauma), but this novel IS one. A fiercely claustrophobic read that takes place on a practically deserted island near Antarctica, this thriller starts off incredibly strong and fades slowly over the course of the story. I was surprised (in a...disappointed way, I think) by the ending—the whole resolution happened so quickly! 

Meet the Salt family: the sole (human) residents of this island, the final stewards of a world seed bank buried deep in the rock of the island that is threatened by rising sea levels. All communication methods have been mysteriously destroyed and a heavy aura of suspicion hangs over the entire island. In the middle of a violent storm, a woman washes up on the rocks, barely alive. Who is this woman? Why is she here? How did she GET here? Why do Dominic and his children seem like they're hiding something? What happened to the entire team of researchers that used to maintain the seed bank? Why is Raff, the oldest, so angry? Why does Fen, the only daughter, prefer to sleep on the beach with the seals? Why does Orly, the youngest, talk to the wind and dark corners as if talking to a person? How is this family possibly going to transition to life as part of a society after so much isolation? Why does this island stink of death? 

I did really appreciate that this was such a patient novel—Charlotte was extremely restrained with the story and it served the plot well. I loved that each character had their own motivations that are slowly revealed to us as the story goes on, but the ending still stays with me...I'm just not sure it works! (But maybe that's just because I wanted a happy ending...)

Content warning: assault

Magical realism gang assemble


This book made me feel the same way I did the first time I read Percy Jackson. That could be the whole review, TBH, because doesn't that say it all? 

Leigh, who is a Yale grad herself—which adds a deliciously vindictive energy to the whole thing, turns the famed Ivy's group of secret societies into an entire magical (under)world, replete with secret rituals and ancient artifacts. The system of magic is complex AF and Leigh navigates it with such skill that I never felt lost. There's also a much larger commentary at play over the tangible influence these secret societies (and Ivies in general) have in the Real World, which never feels scolding even as it refuses to absolve each individual actor from blame. 

Ninth House follows Alex (an Outsider™) who seems to be the ultimate renegade choice to serve as the next Yale magical hall monitor (I'm bastardizing a bit here, but that's the gist). And yet, she is! Leigh drops us into the middle of the action and somehow things just continue to ramp the f*ck up. There's murder, conjuring, ghosts, reanimated corpses, glamours, disgusting frat bros, the library from Beauty & the Beast, creepy mansions, tarot cards....AND THAT ENDING! Okay, I did accurately peg the true villain at the heart of the plot around page 200 (of ~400). That didn't ruin my enjoyment, though! And it's been a really long time since I read a book that ended on such a stark cliffhanger that I felt such an immediate itch to read the sequel.

A practical guide to walking through the world with reverence & purpose


My love for Barbara Brown Taylor is hardly a secret. This is the second book of hers I've read in 2025 and I've listened to countless interviews and podcast episodes featuring her. Barbara is a true scholar of religion, belief, and hope. An ordained Episcopal minister, Barbara left the church to pursue teaching and quickly discovered the value of immersing herself and her students in religious traditions from other faiths and cultures. One of the results from her lifetime of exploration is this book: a field manual for mindfulness. 

You do not have to maintain any kind of ecumenical practice to gain value from Barbara's words. I'm still thinking about her chapter about blessings—who is "allowed" to give them, why they matter to us so much, and her description of a through house blessing that makes me feel at peace just thinking about it. Her voice is also SO calming that this entire audiobook felt like a 16 hour guided meditation.

For the Costco lovers


Emily's paternal grandmother is a hoarder, her dad is a compulsive shopper, and she has come of age in a time of utter American excess. Her probing investigation of her own relationship with bulk is also an investigation of what it means to be American in this day and age. It all makes for an uncomfortable read...I felt itchy and experienced several provoked moments of scorn, which is probably what Emily was going for! 

As she shared in an encompassing interview with Anne Helen Petersen"Bulk shares DNA with consumer culture and mass culture, but it is sweatier, denser, fleshier than those things. Bulk culture is Costco, but it is also fat camp, hoarding, haul videos on Youtube, sweepstakes, an Amazon review that accidentally reveals a deep well of anguish. Bulk culture isn’t wealth, or riches—it’s stuff...Our love and pain and dysfunction speaks the language of stuff...To me, bulk is too personal to be written like a scourge, too fraught to be written like a haven. It’s just an American ethos that sits very close to the bone. I wanted to write about stuff the way you would write about your family: tenderly, critically, curiously. Like something you’re a part of, even if you don’t always want to be." 

Bearing witness to technology's increasing invasion of everyday life


I don't claim this as a point for or against this read, but one of my annotations was "did I actually write this book?" 

This book brilliantly accounts for the qualitative losses brought about by the increasing colonization of daily life by technology. (I don't use the word "colonization" lightly here because I join thinkers including Eve Tuck and K. Wayne Yang in critiquing the "invasion" of the term as an act that "recenters whiteness" and "entertains a settler future." See: Tuck, Eve and K. Wayne Yang. “Decolonization is not a metaphor.” Decolonization: Indigeneity, Education & Society 1, no. 1 (2012): 1-40.) Highly recommend this book for anyone waging a battle against technology in their lives, or especially as a reference point when arguing with people who want to know more about why you're anti-tech overreach. 

As much as I loved this book and I'm glad to have it on my shelf...I still find myself stymied by the lack of NEW information I'm gleaning :/ I experienced this feeling a few times this year with Vauhini Vara's Searches, Amanda Hess' Second Life, and Eula Biss' Having and Being Had...maybe I'm expecting too much?

A brutal struggle between the romantics and the realists


This is an ugly play, TBH. Blanche—a neurotic southern belle with a drinking problem—arrives at her sister Stella's place, which Stella shares with Stanley—a brooding, calculated, angry man. Blanche slowly loses her grip on reality over the course of the play, prodded in no small part by Stanley. 

The problem of reading plays that you have never experienced on the stage is the extra work it takes to envision the staging and your utter inability to tell if your projections are accurate to the playwright's intentions. I rely on the discussions I have about plays that I read with my friends (several of whom are certified theater nerds and have see the play on stage) and by reading the reviews and light scholarship about the work online. (TBH Reddit is not a terrible forum for that task!) 

A gag gift that's actually quite good


Tinx (real name: Christina Najjar) is an influencer and DJ who dispenses a lot of dating advice for gals in their 20s. This book was a gift after I graduated with my Master's in 2024, accompanied by a note that read: "to figure out what's next!" I was not single then—the gift was actually from my partner! It was meant as a cheeky nod to the fact that I used to work with Tinx's brother in New York, which is how I learned about her. 

I slid the book onto my shelf after graduation and honestly forgot all about it! Then, a few weeks ago, I was looking for something lighthearted to read in the bath and my eyes landed on the bright pink spine. Why not? 

TLDR: I read the entire book that night, beginning in the bath and ending wrapped in a towel on my bed. Tinx's advice is salient and she writes well! (I shouldn't be surprised considering the high literary aptitude of her brother.) It's not easy to strike a conversational tone across an entire book without it falling flat, but Tinx manages it. This was an easy, quick read and contained cute nuggets of advice. (I've officially started keeping my own crush list!) I love a book that makes me feel like I'm part of a sisterhood without being cloying, yknow?

The coziest read of the year


Full disclosure: I chose this book for one of my book clubs and I completely worried that I had f*cked up within the first 25 pages because this book has a rather unsteady beginning....luckily, I was WRONG! It was a great read.

I want to live in this book. Like literally crawl inside the atmosphere Hwang Bo-Reum (and translator Shanna Tan) created and fully set up shop forever. The epitome of an encompassing read (I could seriously SMELL the coffee Minjun makes as I read it...), this book is also highly existential in the tradition of a great deal of contemporary East Asian authors, as I've discovered lately. We join the characters grappling with all the big questions we each have to ask ourselves about what it means to live a good life, how to manage expectations, and how to be true to yourself. 

Would you go back in time to kill baby H*tler? as a book concept


My love affair with vintage Stephen King continues with The Dead Zone (picked up at Sherman's Books in Maine!). Johnny Smith suffers a small skating accident as a child, knocking his head against the ice—not hard enough to cause the rural Mainers around him to take him to the hospital but just hard enough for him to develop a latent psychic ability.

His sleeping clairsentience awakens after a brutal taxi accident that leaves him near death in a lengthy coma. When he awakens (already a miracle), Johnny discovers that he has vivid flashes of events he couldn't possibly otherwise know when he touches the people around him. He predicts fires, presidential elections, and, eventually, the end of the world as we know it when he shakes the hand of one particularly nefarious politician. What is Johnny to do?!

King is at his best here—the exposition is detailed but not overly lengthy, the pacing keeps your attention, and the violence is brutal and quick.

Heady spiritual theory from a tainted source

Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chögyam Trungpa (free access to the complete text via Internet Archive)

This book is a series of transcribed lectures delivered by disgraced guru Chögyam Trungpa about the tendency for the ego to "convert anything to its own use...even spirituality." A dense tract of thoughts and practices, there are recorded Q&As at the end of each chapter that help illuminate some of the more complex concepts. 

Unfortunately, I discovered after having read this book that Trungpa was an abusive predator who created an entire spiritual community that protected him from the law as he preyed on minors, assaulted women, and committed other acts of violence. The Canadian news source The Walrus published a comprehensive report of Trungpa's life, rise to power, his multiple abuses of said power, and the continued impact on the lives of people who have interacted with the Shambhala organization. 

The introduction to the book was written by Trungpa's son, who became the heir apparent to his Shambhala legacy and has also been accused of sexual assault. I'm honestly not sure how this information impacts my understanding of this text nor its continued place on my shelf. I initially found this text useful for adding depth to my own practice, but I am not a blanket believer that you can divorce the art from the artist nor the teachings from the predator. I will continue to think about this as I continue along the journey of my practice.

I purchased this book secondhand and, if you are interested in reading it, I highly recommend finding your own secondhand copy or accessing it at the link above via Internet Archive to avoid monetarily supporting the Shambhala organization. 

Note from Kate: Hi! If you buy something through a link on my page, I may earn an affiliate commission. I recommend only products I genuinely like & recommend, and my recommendation is not for sale. Thank you! 

25 Hard Things in 2025: A Year in Review


 A glance back at another year of challenges! How did your resolutions go this year?

25 Hard Things in 2025:
1.Master the alphabet + a basic conversation in ASL achieved! Though I could stand a refresher/continuous practice. 
2. Swim 25 miles — not achieved. I swam 5 miles this year—only 20 off my goal!
3. Go camping 5 times — not achieved. I went camping 3 times in 2025, to Ocracoke with Gravy at Acadia in July, and in Shenandoah National Park in November! 
4. Read 50 books — achieved! And I reviewed them all here on the blog, you're welcome :)
5. Feel confident playing 5 songs on the piano — not achieved. My self-perpetuated piano practice fell off after a few months. 
6. Take 5 Italian lessons — not achieved. 
7. Take 1 solo vacation — achieved! Gravy and I went camping on Ocracoke over Memorial Day weekend.
8. Watch 25 documentaries — not achieved. I watched 6: the Lily Phillips documentary on YouTube; Toni Morrison: The Pieces I Am; Buy Now! The shopping conspiracy; All Light, Everywhere; The Quilters; and My Mom Jayne.
9. Bake 25 loaves of bread — not achieved. I baked 7 loaves this year, though I lost track so it could honestly be more...
10. Do 1 volunteer shift somewhere in person — achieved! I volunteered for 2 opportunities with my alma mater, including speaking at Lavender Graduation to welcome new graduates to the queer alumni association and being part of an alumni panel at Campus Recreation. 
11. Try 25 new recipes — achieved! I'm not sure why, but every time I attempt this resolution I stop keeping track of new recipes sometime around 15. 
12. Read 3 books in Italian — not achieved. 
13. Host a dinner party — achieved! I actually hosted 2 this year: an evening of sushi making for Kate's Perfect Day and my Stanley Tucci dinner party in September.
14. Send 25 letters or postcards — not achieved. I sent 14 letters to pals this year! 
15. Find my mat every day — not achieved. 
16. Visit my grandfather 5 times — not achieved. 
17. Pay off my student loan — achieved! 
18. Watch 25 “classic” movies — not achieved, unless you count watching White Christmas eight times this season.
19. Publish 25 blog posts — not achieved. I got really close, though! And I've thoroughly enjoyed reviving this space this year. 
20. Forgive myself 25 times — achieved! 
21. Go to a fair (ren fair, state fair….) — achieved! I went to the Maryland Renaissance Fair in September with Corrine, Tessa, Sam, and Julia. 
22. Visit a lighthouse — achieved! I've actually been to TWO lighthouses this year—a lighthouse in Seattle with Jess and the Portland Head Light in Maine with Jess and Tessa! 
23. Discover 5 new places in Richmond — I changed this challenge to: "Whenever I think a compliment about someone, tell them" and I'd say it's been achieved! 
24. Shoot + develop 5 new rolls of film — not achieved. So close!! Developed 4 rolls. 
25. Go on 25 bike rides — not achieved. I biked far over 25 miles, though! (Including 50+ miles as part of the Cap2Cap.) So I think that counts. 

All of the Books I Read in 2025

December 26, 2025


One of my 25 Hard Things in 2025 challenges was to read 50 books. Spoiler alert: I DID IT! Here are the 52 books I read in 2025 (emoji key below, click for a review of each book): 

       Standout favorites 💖
  1. Peace is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh (March) ✨🧠
  2. James by Percival Everett (April) 🏛️
  3. We Lived on the Horizon by Erika Swyler (May) 🏳️‍🌈♒️
  4. Black Woods Blue Sky by Eowyn Ivey (May) 💕♒️
  5. Do Not Say We Have Nothing by Madeleine Thien (May) 
  6. The Secret History by Donna Tartt (July) 🏛️
  7. Vera, or Faith by Gary Shteyngart (July) 
  8. After the Ecstasy, the Laundry by Jack Kornfield (July) ✨🧠
  9. The King of a Rainy Country by Brigid Brophy (July) 🏳️‍🌈
  10. Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed (September) ✨🧠
  11. Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo (September) 👻
  12. An Altar in the World: A Geography of Faith by Barbara Brown Taylor (September) ✨🧠
  13. Welcome to the Hyunam-Dong Bookshop by Hwang Bo-Reum (November) ♒️ 

    Books that made me go "hmm..."
    💭
    1. The Safekeep by Yael Van Der Wouden (February) 🏳️‍🌈💕
    2. Hope for Cynics by Jamil Zaki (February) 🧠
    3. All About Love by bell hooks (March) 🧠
    4. Learning to Walk in the Dark by Barbara Brown Taylor (April) ✨🧠
    5. Heroes of the Fourth Turning by Will Arbery (August) ♒️

      Plays 
      🎭
    6. Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream (April) ♒️
    7. Fences by August Wilson (July) 
    8. The Glass Menagerie by Tennessee Williams (July)
    9. A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams (October)

      Shorter books, poetry, & collections 💨
    10. Call of the Wild and White Fang by Jack London (January) 
    11. Make Believe by Victoria Hutchins (March) 
    12. Bluets by Maggie Nelson (May) 💕♒️
    13. Spent by Alison Bechdel (June) 🏳️‍🌈
    14. So Late in the Day by Claire Keegan (June) 👻
    15. Atavists by Lydia Millet (July) ♒️
    16. American Bulk by Emily Mester (October) 🧠

      Books 
      📚
    17. The White Book by Han Kang (January) ♒️
    18. Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut (January) 
    19. Femina by Janina Ramirez (January) 🧠
    20. How to Fall in Love in a Time of Unnamable Disaster by Muriel Leung (February) 🏳️‍🌈💕
    21. The Overnight Guest by Heather Gudenkauf (February) 👻
    22. Quicksand by Nella Larsen (March) 🏛️♒️
    23. Aflame by Pico Iyer (April) ✨🧠
    24. Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams (April) 🧠
    25. Having and Being Had by Eula Biss (April) 😕🧠
    26. The Float Test by Lynn Steger Strong (May) 😕
    27. We Were Made For These Times by Kaira Jewel Lingo (May) ✨🧠
    28. Second Life by Amanda Hess (May) 🧠😕
    29. Searches: Selfhood in the Digital Age by Vauhini Vara (May) 😕🧠
    30. Let Only Red Flowers Bloom by Emily Feng (June) 🧠
    31. Tess of the d'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy (July) 🏛️💕
    32. The South by Tash Aw (July) 🏳️‍🌈💕
    33. How We Show Up by Mia Birdsong (August) ✨🧠
    34. Notes on Infinity by Austin Taylor (August) 💕
    35. Wild Dark Shore by Charlotte McConaghy (September) 👻♒️
    36. The Extinction of Experience by Christine Rosen (October) 🧠
    37. The Shift by Tinx (November) 🧠
    38. Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism by Chögyam Trungpa (November) ✨🧠
    39. The Dead Zone by Stephen King (December) 👻
    ✨ = a spiritual read
    🏛️ = a classic (or one I think should be considered a classic) 
    🧠 = nonfiction
    🏳️‍🌈 = queer
    💕 = romance-forward
    👻 = thriller / scary
    😕 = not my faves....
    ♒️ = books that felt very Aquarius to me OR books that were very vibe-forward 

    A recap by the numbers...
    • 38% of the books I read this year were nonfiction—a solid chunk, I think! 
    • 1 in 4 were standout favorites
    • 6 queer books—not enough! Making this much more of a conscious focus next year
    • 65% women authors—I didn't consciously make this decision, but nevertheless I'm pleased
    • 55% of my reading for the year was accomplished before July
    • 21% (11 books) of my reading happened between September and December...what an uneven split! The fall has been really Weird for me and this statistic is a fascinating indication of my priorities shifting radically...

    Top photo credit

    A Chaotic End to 2025

    December 24, 2025


    It's been a truly wild couple of weeks. Normally when I say that, I mean that I've been busy enough that my apartment is a bit of a mess and I haven't been to the gym in a few days. Both of those things are currently true AND some incredibly hilarious things have happened. Let's see...

    I spent the final two weeks of November in Panama, where I shared a room with my mother, who has the unique gift of making my own legendary snoring seem like white noise. My headphones and I have never been closer.

    I sadly didn't get the chance to see much of Panama because I had jaw surgery my first week there and spent the rest of the time hiding my face girdle* from the sun and other people. You really haven't lived until you're slumped and drooling in a wheelchair wearing a loosely tied babushka that isn't concealing anything as an orderly half your height labors to push you from the hospital recovery ward through a school field trip eating lunch at the mall food court (attached to the hospital) and then through a business convention of modeling and talent agency executives (hand to god) waiting for their uber blacks in the hotel lobby (also attached to the hospital) to deliver you to your hotel room like you're a low-rent version of the Plaza Home Alone sundae.

    *This is the password I'll be using with my future children to protect them from kidnappers, btw, because nobody can stomach the phrase "face girdle" unless they really mean it. 

    I spent the rest of my time in Panama icing my face, working off camera, going to daily PT sessions, and taking my bandages off for the first time to attend a hotel Thanksgiving buffet where the mac n cheese had jerk shrimp in it and the turkey was made out of salmon ceviche (both delish). 

    The makeup that made me think should I get lashes?

    The week I returned from Panama, still bandaged, I presented at an academic conference (!), taught my final yoga classes of the semester, did a special photoshoot in snowy D.C. (freshly un-bandaged, cleared by the surgeon, and professionally dolled up), and went Christmas bar hopping with the new person I'm seeing (!!), their sister, and their brother-in-law. 

    I knew I'd get along well with New Person's sister when she leaned over furtively at the first bar to ask if I'd be okay with her taking her shoes off so she could sit cross-legged and then, at the end of the night, when she whispered "I love you" in my ear as we hugged goodbye. I started laughing and she immediately turned away with a pouting face to announce to her husband and New Person, "Kate doesn't like me! Let's go home so I can cry." 10/10 commitment to the bit.

    Around this time, Gravy & I also moved into my mother's guest room to care for her after her own (non-jaw related) surgery. While I was there, Tessa came to stay for the most Christmas-y weekend ever, featuring a Saturday double-header at the Richmond Ballet's production of The Nutcracker—always phenomenal, the audience outfit-spotting is unmatched—and the Byrd's annual showing of White Christmas. Before the show, we joined in the Christmas singalong led by the theater's massive Wurlitzer organ that ends with (can you guess?) when the most dedicated Byrd employee runs along the balcony, holding the 1988 snow machine out like a relay baton.

    On Sunday, Tessa helped me host my Christmas Cookie Open House! The shindig met several of my "good party" criteria: 
    • Hot chocolate was on tap 
    • Nobody shit their pants (to my knowledge)
    • 2 of the 3 former lovers that I invited came
    • Other people also ate the crab dip so it wasn't just me
    • There was a Taco Bell delivery
    • Everyone went home with leftovers!

    I cherry-on-top'd the joyous events of my Christmas weekend with a long, luxurious bubble bath, the perfect end to a perfect weekend! In theory. 

    In actuality, my bath triggered a long series of events that began at least 10 years ago when the previous owners of my mother's house decided to do some DIY home renovation and came to a head when my bathwater started raining out of the kitchen ceiling (someone page Emerald Fennell).

    I have no photos related to the flood, so please enjoy Gravel in her rightful place under the tree

    And as if that wasn't enough, right around the time shea butter-scented bubbles were cascading down the hood of the stove, I began coughing. Turns out, my friend, we'll call her Patient Zero, was coughed on in the confessional line. Cookie Party, now officially a superspreader event. 

    My week after that slowly deteriorated into utter madness. 

    There was my mother, recovering from surgery and unable to do much for herself, working from home, navigating 4 different work crews coming in and out of the house (bc leak), and still finding the time to enter an online auction for an abandoned hotel in Greece (despite somehow never having seen Mamma Mia)

    Then there's me, experiencing a fever that reached 102.8 at its highest point, also working from home, also driving back and forth between my mother's house and my apartment so I could pack my suitcase for our impending trip to Florida. 

    Turns out, I packed like an utter imbecile (bc fever). No bottoms of any kind ended up in the suitcase, which precipitated my wearing of grody sweatpants + a quarter zip stolen from my mother + heeled boots with too-short socks to my hair appointment, also featuring the sweat of a recently-broken fever and very little will to live.

    Of course, there was also Gravel, hissing and swatting at Aggi, my mother's elderly Shih Tzu, as the dog tried (and failed) to hop onto my bed for approximately 11 hours a day. 

    For added ambiance, let us not forget the five (5!) industrial fans blowing at full power 24 hours a day for 4 days straight in the Hannibal set that was our plastic tarp-covered kitchen.


    Meanwhile, my hairdresser repaid my inability to schedule more than a week in advance by giving me the Lord Farquaad special just in time for Caroline's rainbow fish birthday party. (If anyone has a tip on where I can buy a hat that can help me channel the mom in the Santa Clause having a breakdown at her son's soccer game when her ex-husband begins to fully turn into Santa and kids are lining up to sit on his lap (is this too niche?), HMU.)

    Saturday night, I clipped half my newly chopped hairs back because New Person and I decided to go out for one final date of 2025 before the menagerie that is my household all piled into the car to drive to Florida (where I sit, slumped, barefoot, a little tipsy typing this).

    Well, I decided at the end of our date that I wasn't quite ready to bid adieu to New Person yet—who is still new enough that they have yet to meet my mother. I persuaded them to spend the night cuddled up in the guest room with me and drugged-up Gravel (bc car ride) and leave after our early morning family departure. The timing was perfect for their work schedule! 

    It was also perfect for the universe to continue f*cking with me. My mother—still unable to lift anything more than her Starbucks cup—apparently got bored of watching me fill her CRV with two suitcases, a full laundry basket, two backpacks, a litter box, car snacks, leftovers from the Cheesecake Factory (invaluable), three bags of gifts, an ancient dog in her smelly carrier, a four-foot tall pelican statue, and a cat that, by this point, was high off her ass.

    Mom—who, in all fairness, learned how to knock approximately 5 minutes ago and is still rusty at it under the best of circumstances—decided to perform one final sweep of the house to ensure we weren't forgetting anything, including my room. 

    I now regret for the first time in my entire life that we are an anti-surveillance state family and thus have no Ring cameras or hallway monitors or always-on Alexas to capture the faces of both New Person and Mom when she walked in on them, topless, in her guest bed.

    "So, I'm guessing I just met New Person?" My mother peered at me through the fingers still pressed to her face as I walked away from the conquered CRV. My laughter only inspired her shaking head and my own new coughing fit, which was probably the universe's best form of poetic justice short of my pants pooling around my ankles in Wawa. I finally calmed down enough to go upstairs, where I found New Person with the sheets pulled entirely over their head. "I'm never coming out, just so you know."

    For the record, I wasn't trying to hide New Person! (And Mom clearly knew about them....) I defy you to introduce me to a person in their right mind that thinks meeting their new girlfriend's mother for the very first time at 4:30am is a good choice! #NoRegrets #ExtremelyReadyfor2026 

    2025 Beach Week Reads

    October 6, 2025


    I was striving for the record this year, but I ended up leaving beach week 1 day early and that's the excuse I'll use for "only" reading 5 books this year (the same as last year).

    Harriet the Spy for the 21st century

    I was a voracious reader as a child (unsurprising) and a great deal of the books I spent hours and hours of my young life devouring featured precocious children trying to navigate a world that didn't wholly understand them. Delightfully ignoring what that might imply about me, I experienced a renewed flush of affinity for the constant companions of my youth through Vera.

    Like my pals Harriet, Pippi, Constance, Winnie, and Junie B., Vera is a bright, well-meaning, aloof little girl who finds herself much more at home in the complex recesses of her mind than with her peers. New York City is Vera's playground as she tries desperately to keep her impetuous father and exhausted stepmother from divorcing, to befriend at least one of her classmates before the end of the year, and to confront the blossoming existential crisis born of her own biological mother's highly felt absence. 

    This book is charming in nearly every sense of the word. Before reading Vera, I was unfamiliar with Gary Shteyngart's work (though he did write one of my favorite travel writing pieces in recent memory). Turns out, he's a prolific satirist. That explains the subtlety of the world-building he does here. Most of the NYC that Vera explores is familiar to us, but there are elements sprinkled throughout the story that get incrementally larger as the novel goes on that blur that perception for us; things like fully autonomous cars, a talking AI chessboard companion, border checkpoints between U.S. states, federal menstrual cycle reporting, and the ongoing commentary of a proposed "5/3rds law" are background elements in Vera's world and thus do not warrant extraordinary attention or explanation, but have an impact nonetheless. 

    The Tiffany problem, queer edition

    When I came out to my mother, she said 2 things in immediate response. She affirmed her love for me, and parroted back what she thought I had said, her longtime strategy for demonstrating her listening comprehension. "So, you want to have sex with women." I'm confident that's what she heard, but that's not what I said. 

    I've spent the many years since that first conversation endeavoring to find the words to understand & explain (to myself, to my mother, to anyone who will listen, really...) my relationship to my queerness. Queerness (at least to me) is not simply about reversing the heterosexual enforcement of gendered criteria for the person sharing my bed. My queerness is about liberating myself from the expectations and enforcements of harsh binaries, like gender, an act that carries into every aspect of my lived experience.

    This book is a lovely reminder of the rich legacy to which we (queer people) belong in a remarkably quotidian way. Not to wade into the endless parade of bullsh*t that passes as "relationship discourse" on the internet, but it's incredibly easy for me to conceive of the relationships I have with friends, lovers, and partners as products of our contemporary moment instead of as honorable entries in the long history of queerness. 

    All of this to say, Brigid Brophy's 1956 novel felt remarkably familiar to me. Queerness is the main feature of this book, but it's not an empty plot device. Susan and Neale are pallid 20-somethings living together in London. They are roommates who may get married but also don't sleep together but also that's not really off the table and both of them have found themselves intertwined with lovers of all genders. Susan, working as a secretary for an underground porno book publisher, recognizes a cheesecake shot of her high school paramour, Cynthia. Susan sets out alongside a languid Neal on a zany adventure through Europe to track Cynthia down, traveling through Paris, Rome, Florence, and, finally, Venice. There, the duo finally catch up to Cynthia and also encounter Helena, a queer elder, who is present for only the last quarter of the book and still manages to change everything

    Man-writes-woman, part ∞ 

    A question for all the English majors out there: do we all feel like fakers, or is it just me? Tess is one of those canonical titles that made me feel like a fraudulent English major for never having read. Now having read it.....🤷‍♀️ It's a pretty generic Victorian novel in some respects, though I must give credit to Thomas Hardy for his moving pastoral elegies. His hyper focus on Tess as his main character is quite successful, too, but her character is extremely underbaked as a whole. 

    Tess is a young woman living in rural England with incredibly impressionable and lackadaisical parents, to whom the revelation of their family's alleged previous social standing (since frittered away over the generations) imbues an unearned air of self-importance. This new grandiosity is the impetus for Tess' pursuit of the patronage of a "fellow d'Urberville," which lands her in the arms of her boorish, not-cousin, Alec. 

    Obviously, this dalliance results in a pregnancy out of wedlock (bc morality). The baby is literally named Sorrow, in case we didn't get the message, and doesn't live long after birth. Tess attempts to recoup some grace in the eyes of society by becoming a milkmaid in a neighboring county. It is there that she encounters Angel, the highly educated black sheep of a local parson's family who has captured the affection of every milkmaid on the farm, including Tess. Obviously, he falls for her. Unfortunately, her uncouth past threatens to derail her "one true chance" at happiness. 

    It's been a minute since I studied Victorian culture, so Thomas Hardy could very well be making nuanced arguments, observations, and critiques of morality culture that are lost on me. But goddamn! Misogyny reigns supreme in extremely overt and insidious ways in this text and is so ingrained in Tess herself that I often found myself shaking the book as if shaking her shoulders.

    Call Me By Your Name if it took place in Malaysia

    This darling bildungsroman takes place over the course of an incredibly impactful summer in rural Malaysia. Jay is our focus (mostly)—a boy in his late teens who (unhappily) travels with his family to their ancestral farm for the summer. There, he finds himself drawn to Chuan, the son of the farm's caretaker. I loved the artful evocation of quotidian existence and characters that order everyday life in southeast Asia. Tash Aw is not world-building, he's channeling reality and it casts a potent nostalgia over the entire novel. 

    I think Aw's decision to change POVs every chapter hindered our story, though. We don't get enough of the various b-plot lines to make them interesting enough to divert our attention from Jay and I resented being forced to look away. And unlike CMBYN, we don't really get any glimpses of interiority on Jay or Chuan's parts, nor are we allowed into the small romantic moments between them, really. Overall, I was left wanting.

    A mindfulness manual

    I started this book months ago and have been savoring it. In this work, Jack Kornfield has collected countless reflections, stories, and lessons about how to live a spiritual, intentional life as part of the real world from priests, monks, nuns, rabbis, swamis, gurus, imams, mystics, zen masters, meditation teachers, and laypeople. I think I've underlined or highlighted something on nearly every single page.

    Note from Kate: Hi! If you buy something through a link on my page, I may earn an affiliate commission. I recommend only products I genuinely like & recommend, and my recommendation is not for sale. Thank you! 

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